Do you struggle doing things on your own? Does the thought of heading to a restaurant or the cinema by yourself fill you with absolute fear? Me too! So let’s tackle this together and figure out how to be comfortable doing things alone!
Being alone
I’m a huge introvert. Family gatherings, parties etc exhaust me. They’re just not my jam at all. I’d prefer a night in by myself or just doing something with my fiance. That being said, the thought of spending time in my own company outside of the house terrifies me. I’m quite comfortable in my own company in the house, I love a good night in on my own when my fiance goes out. It’s definitely something I’ve missed this year. However I would not head out on my own. Sure I’ll go shopping and stuff on my own, not a problem but the cinema, a restaurant or a coffee shop is out of the question.
I don’t really know where this has come from because a few years ago before I lived with my fiance I’d head to Costa every Friday afternoon by myself. I used to finish work early on a Friday and seen as my fiance and I both worked almost in the centre of our town I’d head to Costa to wait for him to finish before stopping at his for the weekend. I absolutely loved this Friday afternoon coffee dates by myself. I’d people watch or catch up on some work and just enjoy the time to myself. I honestly couldn’t imagine doing that right now.
I feel like I should make a disclaimer that this has absolutely nothing to do with the current state of the world and coronavirus because I was like this last year!
I think once my early Friday’s finished then I eventually moved jobs I had no reason to go on coffee dates by myself so I just stopped. Even back then the idea of going to the cinema or something by myself didn’t feel comfortable but now I’ve let that irrational fear take over everything.
Getting out there
When I created my 30th birthday bucket list a couple of months ago, I knew instantly what one of the points would be. To go somewhere on my own. Because if I don’t do it now the problem will get worse. I’m going to start off small with my once loved coffee dates and go from there.
I think I’ve just become too comfortable with going out with others and not having that time to do things on my own now.
How to be comfortable on your own
So clearly I’m no expert but I honestly thing what’s going to work for me is just sucking it up and getting myself into a coffee shop. Like I said I’m going to start off small with something I know I used to love and work from there. For me there’s no point in going straight in with something that’s always terrified me when I’ve been put off doing something I used to love.
Making the time rather than excuses will help too. As I’ve said my coffee dates for one stopped because I moved jobs and I now work in the same village I live in. Also seen as my fiance and I live together now there’s no hanging around waiting for him. I need to make sure I set aside some time to be by myself.
I love my own company in the comfort of my own home so why can’t I learn to love my own company outside of it?! I absolutely love spending time with my fiance, I really do but as I’ve said I adore those nights alone if he’s gone out too. If I’m comfortable going out on my own I’d be able to do all the things he never that interested in!
This is very much a working progress for me and I hope that before my 30th birthday I can come back and update you on how wonderful it is doing things on your own!
How comfortable are you doing things on your own? Any tips for me? Tell me in the comments!
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I think as a parent, I crave alone time so it is probably the only reason I embrace it at all.
I’m not comfortable in myself though and I am starting to lose confidence in being out on my own.
It’s so important that we do step out of our comfort zone though.
I hope you can learn to embrace your alone time x x
Thank you. I hope you get your confidence back when you’re out alone.
This is such a great post. I used to do things on my own but for the last couple of years I haven’t. I completely agree that we need to do something now otherwise the problem will only get worse.
Thanks! Yep definitely! Really hoping I can pluck up the courage to do more things on my own.
I have the exact same fear! I’m not even sure where it comes from, nor am I sure what it is that actually puts me off. I think your idea to start small with your coffee dates and build up is an excellent idea – best of luck! I think I’m gonna try and get out and do the same!
Em x
http://Www.emsworldblog.com
Thank you! Good luck to you too!
This was something that I struggled with for YEARS! Oddly enough, shifting to working from home just over 4 years ago was the best thing for my fear of going out alone. You may wonder why staying home helped… the thing is, those of us who work from home for a long time often need a change of scenery from time to time. The best way to do this is to pack up the laptop and head to a local cafe. The catch? There’s no one else, just me – so it was time to get over that concern. After working in a couple cafes alone a few times, I realized it wasn’t nearly as awkward or uncomfortable as I had made it out to be in my mind.
That’s great to hear!
I think sometimes we are so enraptured by a need to share moments with other people, we become used to being in company and forget we can share things with ourselves. As someone who loves going out alone, I love that this encourages other people to do the same!
Thanks! Yes definitely, I certainly need to get better at realising it’s O.K. to just share things with myself.
Thanks for sharing, I have felt during this time that being comfortable on doing things on my own has been put on the back seat, I would be normally going for days out on my own but now I’m not so comfortable.
I hope that soon I will have the confidence to go out on my own again 🙂
Nic | Nic’s Adventures & Bakes
I hope you get your confidence back to go and do things on your own!
This is a great post! I also get exhausted being with people all the time, and I genuinely love having alone time. Even if I’m not doing anything special, I love it. Even with the current state of things, I don’t really feel the need to go out all the time. It’s as if I was born to live the ‘lockdown’ lifestyle. I’ve found that in the last year, I really need to push and hype myself up to go out, mainly because I don’t need to. But, I do know that mentally I need a change of scenery every few days!
I also love alone time, I’m not a very sociable person haha so I do love spending time on my own but in the comfort of my own home. I do need to be more comfortable being alone when I’m not doing things though.