My thoughts on turning 30

Today is my 30th birthday! Crikey I don’t half feel old, I mean I’m positively ancient in the blogging world now, right?! I’m honestly not sure I have the words to describe how I feel about turning 30 or about this last year but I always do a little birthday reflection so let’s see what spills out of my mind!

I honestly don’t know where to begin with this last year. The last year of my twenties. A big part of me feels like I’ve missed out on so much and I know the same goes for everyone, we’ve all been in the same position but there’s been times over the last year where my mental health has took a real hit because of the pandemic, the various lockdowns, missing out on things, it just didn’t really feel like a life. I literally went out to work and came home on repeat. I even set myself a list of 12 things I wanted to do by my 30th birthday and I might as well be honest and say I haven’t achieved any of them. It’s turning into a bit of doom and gloom post and that’s not what this is but I’m just been honest and saying that the last year, teamed with the feeling and reality of getting older has left me feeling a little out of sorts.

I can’t help but feel that 29 has just been a tad unremarkable, I’ve done nothing that makes it stand out. It’s been tough, there’s been plenty of times it hasn’t been enjoyable so, who knows, maybe I am ready to embrace my thirties, to move on.

30 scares me though, 30 feels like I should have my shit together and I definitely don’t. I’m well aware that 30 isn’t old but I feel old if that makes sense. I feel like this past year has added 10 years on to me. Maybe there’s another blog post in there somewhere, the struggle to accept looking and feeling older? Do you ever make peace with that? Someone please tell me that you do because I am hating it right now!

Anyway, I did say this would just be a bunch of random things spilling out of my brain because I honestly have no clear thoughts to convey. In a nutshell 29 was a struggle, it was a year of being at home, trying to look after my mental health, balance a million adult responsibilities and trying to get the excitement back for my wedding after postponing last year. But 29 was also the year I chopped 8 inches off my hair, started running, had an amazing hen party, made my first ever snow angel, walked an alpaca and had a relaxing spa break so there were definitely positives too!

I have no idea what 30 will bring, I love to plan and have things to look forward to but I’ve had to learn that things like that just aren’t possible right now. So here’s to 30 being a total surprise, hopefully a happy surprise at that!