I’m sure I’m not the only one to ever experience this which is why I’m talking about it, but for some time I was dreading the end of the year. 2018 has been challenging for so many reasons but there have been some fantastic moments that I definitely want to relive as the year ends. But it’s other people’s new year round-ups that have been putting me off. Here me out on this one though.
My story
For as long as I can remember I’ve shared photos and a few words on social media and my blog about all the highlights of the past year, just like millions of other people do. I’ve carefully selected lovely photos that highlight each great moment and spoke about all the wonderful things I’ve achieved that year and my plans for the new year. I’ll be honest, I’ll probably do the same this year because for all the crap that’s happened there have been some wonderful moments that I want to hold on to.
What’s never crossed my mind though until this year is how my posts might make others feel. How seeing posts about how wonderful someone’s business has done that year, how financially successful someone has been, how many holidays someone has had or the new home someone’s bought or the latest home renovations they’ve carried out might be a massive comparison trigger for someone going through a tough time.
Now am I saying the new year round-up posts should stop? Of course I’m not. People are free to celebrate what they want and it’s great that people achieve such amazing things in a year. But for other people, just getting through the year is all they’ve done and I want people to know that’s more than enough.
I know for me this year I’m going to struggle with the new year posts. So much so that I’ll probably not be on social media all that much when I start to notice an abundance of these posts because as I’ve spoken about before in my ‘Life Behind the Grid’ post, comparison has been a huge thing for me this year and I just need to focus on my own happy moments from the past year.
As I said, I’ll do my usual new year post on here and no doubt I’ll discuss the years good moments on Instagram and Facebook. I just want people to be aware of how these kinds of things can make others feel because it might be someone close to you that feels like that. If your only achievement this year was surviving through shit times then that is more than enough of an achievement for a year.
How to fix the problem
If you find yourself in a similar position to mine then the best thing to do is avoid social media for the time being given that that is the root of the problem. Focus on your own journey and think about all the positives you can pick out. For me when I looked back on 2018 I immediately jumped to the negatives. To say it was a tough year was an understatement. Dealing with job issues, financial worry and grief all in one year takes it toll. Those were the things that immediately sprung into my mind.
It was only when I pushed that aside and started to change me outlook that I realised that yes 2018 was one of the toughest years of my life but it was also one of the best. I didn’t want the negative aspects to overshadow what were truly amazing moments. So I started shifting my focus on to thinking about the good things. The once in a lifetime gig we attended, out Florida holiday and getting engaged.
Although they were all very big positives to pick out, whenever I’m struggling I also find that finding happiness in even the small things really helps me out. If you’re having a tough time I highly recommend noting down three good things from each day.
While there’s a temptation to think that a new year will magically solve all your problems the reality is it won’t. Shifting your mindset however goes a long way to helping. Things can always get better. It took me a long time to get out of the funk 2018 put me in but there is always a way out.
This is such a meaningful post! I think it’s definitely true of this year as well and I never thought about avoiding social media to dodge the comparison that I always do but that’s such a good point and one I’ll definitely be taking on board. It can be hard when it feels like you’re not where you want to be or planned to be and feel like you’re the only one. Thanks for sharing!
I’m glad this helped you out. I wrote this a couple of years ago after having a really tough year but I think a lot of people could find it useful this year as I think a lot of us will be struggling.
A lovely honest post. I’ve enjoyed the new year round up posts but also struggle with them. I’m even more nervous about the new year than I was during this year. For a while I decided that when 2020 was over I could breathe again but next year will be just as tough. Thanks for sharing!
I think that’s the problem this year, people desperately want 2021 to be different but know it’s going to be a tough start. I wrote this post in 2018 after a really difficult year but I think it will help a lot of people who are struggling this year.
I never thought of it like this and agree that trying to shift your mindset can help 🙂
Lauren | https://www.wooloftheking.com/
I definitely helped me loads!
A really interesting post Lauren – this year really has got me thinking about how my year and rounding it off could have a bad effect on someone else so I’m trying to be really conscious with what I’m putting up online and to be honest, there is a strange relief to not posting all the achievements online and just going into the new year with a clean slate. It definitely right that it’s all about the mindset and shifting it slightly too.
That’s great to hear. I enjoy writing reflective posts but I do think it’s important to acknowledge both the good and bad though.
This is a great reminder for all of us. We need to keep in mind that we’re seeing a highlight reel when reading through other people’s posts, but we’re not seeing all the struggles, failures and hard work that led up to those moments. I agree with your suggestion to step away from social media if you know that you’re going to have a hard time with it. We need to do what we can to protect our own mental health.
Definitely! I do understand why people show a highlight reel but sometimes when you’re not in a good place it can be difficult to remember that’s all you’re seeing.