This is a guest post
Positivity can be an elusive concept at the best of times. We often confuse it with happiness; the idea that everything should be ok or working out for us. But at root, positivity is about having the hope or confidence in one’s ability to handle the ups with the downs. It’s not about everything being good 100% of the time. But rather the knowledge that we can cope with whatever life throws at us. Because we have the skills to manage. And yes, part of those skills may be asking for help and being honest about how we feel.
Many of us seek positivity in our lives. Putting it on a pedestal and imagining that with positivity on our side everything will be better. Being more positive can make us feel more capable or competent. It’s a great energizer and motivator. And let’s be honest, the world around us, whether advertising campaigns, marketing slogans or social media feeds all show us positivity as aspirational. In short, life teaches us that good things happen to positive people. And we believe that with positivity life will be easier.
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of positivity and there’s many things you can do if you’re needing a little bit more positivity in your life. Things like yoga and meditation can help relax the mind and body, journaling is a great way to get your thoughts and feelings down and finding a THC tincture for sale can help with pain relief and anxiety.
What can positivity do for us?
It’s with good reason most of us aspire to positivity. The research is there to back us up. Those who are optimists reap the benefits across the board: physically, psychologically, emotionally and mentally.
Martin Seligman’s research with Dartmouth and the University of Michigan followed a group of subjects aged 25 – 65. Those who were more pessimistic in their world view were more likely to become ill as they aged. This correlates with research from the Mayo Clinic which found that optimists have longer life spans and research from Yale and the University of Colorado that pessimism correlated with a weakened immune response.
Those who are more positive are also found to have lower rates of depression and experience lower levels of distress. They tend to have better coping skills at times of high stress and pressure. Most likely due to a tendency to focus on problem-solving and resolution at a time of crisis or disappointment. Rather than dwelling on the negative emotions associated with the event.
Too much of a good thing?
Whilst we all have good reason to desire positivity, it’s not all blue skies and rainbows. Toxic positivity has gained traction in recent years. It makes sense in our world of social media where every action is documented, and the pressure is on to portray ourselves in an endlessly positive, perfect and happy way. And whilst it’s not necessarily a reason to reject positivity, it can help us find a more balanced view.
For more on Why Happiness is an Inside Job read here.
New thinking encourages us not have such a polarized perspective of life. Viewing things as positive or negative is incredibly binary. And not necessarily helpful. Instead, perceiving events in our lives as neutral can be helpful. It encourages us not to attach anxieties or overthink events which may feel uncomfortable to us. And therefore, be able to focus our energy on looking for solutions.
Another school of thought suggests that constant positive thinking backs optimists into a corner. Always having to focus on the positive can be exhausting and leaves no time for relaxation. Instead requiring constant vigilance to not allow any negative thoughts to take root. Additionally, constant focus on the positive and the belief that everything will work out could lead an optimist not to make a back up plan. Leaving them high and dry when things inevitably don’t always go to plan.
Further research has also revealed that pessimism has its place. It’s unrealistic to never have a negative thought and experiencing negative emotions has its place in helping us stay emotionally regulated. Negativity can help us spot discomfort in our lives and highlight areas where we may want to make a change or need some support. For example, fear can be a good indicator that we are in danger or feel uncomfortable about something that we are asked to do. Forcing ourselves into a constant state of positivity may lead us into a state of denial where we don’t address uncomfortable emotions and the underlying problems causing them to escalate. Often acknowledging our emotions is the first step in being able to accept them and diffuse or manage them better.
For 4 Ways to Check in with Your Mental Health read here.
A study found that those in negative moods are better at making high quality and persuasive arguments than those in a better mood. Likewise, negative moods have been linked to improvements in memory and mental accuracy. And that negative thinking could prompt us to think more carefully and therefore possibly make better judgements. Defensive pessimism is also an anxiety management strategy. This coping mechanism involves setting low expectations about a scenario allowing people to mentally plan for the worst and therefore cope better.
For 4 Ways to Reframe Your Anxiety read here.
What are your thoughts on positivity? Have you noticed toxic positivity in the world around you? Let me know in the comments.
About the author
Emma is a mental health educator and facilitator. She uses her experience and knowledge about mental health combined with her love of writing to encourage others to look after their wellbeing via her blog My Musings and Me.
Blog – https://mymusingsandme.co.uk/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/emmaydorman
Toxic positivity is a lot more talked about on social media these days, which is a good thing as it’s bringing our attentions to it and that it’s ok to say that toxic positivity can not be a good thing at times! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
Yes it definitely is more talked about which is great because on social media there’s definitely a feeling that you need to be positive all the time.
I think balancing positivity and negativity is hard work, but yes on too much positivity being toxic – sometimes you need to level back to a different scenario to make sure you’re not over projecting yourself. Loved this guest post!
Thanks. Balance is definitely the key but you’re right it can be hard.
I have noticed it big time. Boasting. It can be phoney. My alpha example is a sales girl in a team that I worked with would come in happy and chirpy and really revelled in it and told everyone how positive she was. Then I see that she is the one who tells everyone the bad things the prep guys have done, or a mistake a driver made. She is the one with spiteful anecdotes. Also she would use it to involve herself in others lives and then give unwanted advice.
I notice it became a vanity led project-seeking process. To tell people “Oh xxx was so upset but I took her in the corner and now she is fine”
I noticed each boast was ended with a compliment fish, often direct, often in the form of overt self deprication begging to be contested.
I found that her effect was super toxic and I made a moved to start disciplinary proceedings and then we were all made redundant! Since leaving the fact she was really spreading some very nasty rumours and selling cocaine to two drivers on behalf of her daughter has come to light. So I found validation!
However, I have always, and will always, be nervous of aggressively positive people.
Is the glass half full or half empty? I would say it depend on whether the half missing was drank or just never added.
She definitely sounds like a very toxic person. I think positivity can be great but there definitely needs to be a balance.
I agree with you. As humans we need to allow ourselves experience all the emotions that comes and acknowledge it without sidelining one. People would tell you to always be positive, which is good but denying other emotions would lead to depression. This is food for thought, thank you for writing this.
I think it’s good to have a balance between a positive outlook and acknowledging other feelings and emotions and allowing yourself to feel those and deal with them.
In my opinion positivity is not a bad thing. The last couple of years were pretty hard for me and I was really focused on the negative side. Focusing on the beautiful things in each moment, helped me with that. You mentioned negative moods are better for high quality arguments. For me it is the opposite. However, I think trying too hard to be positive is toxic. Also thinking that only good things will happen when you are positive is not realistic.
I agree. I’ve had some really tough times over the last few years and finding the small positives in each day really helped me out but we have to be allowed to feel other things too and forcing positivity all the time isn’t healthy.
It’s so important to feel into our feelings and embrace them (positive or negative). It’s okay, to not always feel good or see the positive in a negative situation. Laureny, thank you for sharing this beautiful post with us
Thanks for reading.
You made good points! I think that being positive takes effort but pays dividends.
It can take effort but it’s not good to ignore other feelings in favour of being overly positive either. There has to be a healthy balance!
It is so good to acknowledge this! While a positive attitude is great, we also need to accept other emotions instead of invalidating them.
Yes, exactly!
I’m all for positivity, but I do believe that too much positivity doesn’t help anyone. Like you said, life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns, and we all need to remember that! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
Definitely! I think people do get caught up in trying to be overly positive and it isn’t healthy.